This a poem that i created in my mind around Halloween, but forgot it until now.
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In this hellish night, darkness calls.
Moonlight burns, bodies fall.
Once a night for saints and nuns.
Now of terror, the end has begun.
The leaves howl, the trees cry.
A hand reach out, its time to die.
You may run, or try to hide.
It smells you fear, on wind it glides.
No, you cannot stop. Don't slow your stride.
It engulfs it all never satisfied.
It grabs you leg, you must escape.
It's grip is locked, it is too late.
Into the abyss, the souls, they fall.
They bled their tears, they tried to warn.
Of the night, darkness calls.
Tell me what you think of this poem. I've written three others, I'd like to also get you input on those too. If you can find them.
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Is this true? I always thought that Halloween was originally a Franco-Pagan festival, not a Christian one. I could be wrong though.
"Bodies fall" is good foreshadowing; I hope it's foreshadowing, at least, because otherwise it seems to have been stuck in there rather randomly.
Consider putting in extra imagery for "a tree cries" because I am not sure as to what that's supposed to mean - sap dripping down? If so, how could you see it in pitch-black darkness, which I'm assuming is the setting of this poem?
Was the howling of wind and crying of trees a warning by past souls eaten by the monster? If that's the case, then the line about the trees makes sense; if it's not the case, then you need to explain how exactly these lost souls interacted with you prior to your destruction. Apart from that, I think it's not bad for a quickly-written and fun poem but if you truly wanted to make this solid and powerful, please tell me so I can point out some of the more subtle nuances of the poem that I felt needed much work.